I don't like free verse, so I don't write it often. I was wondering what improvements could be made to this poem. Also, there is supposed to be more form to the lines, but this site won't let me post it like that, so bear with me.
One stroke of the bow fills the room with a
Luscious sound
And a cloud of rosin dust is added
For dramatic effect.
The string keeps on living as the note echoes,
Groping every corner of the hall;
Feeding the hungry ears that yearn for that
Melodious flavor
Meticulously crafted of wood
And a life’s worth of joy
Melancholy
And dreams
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I really like this one. I remember you saying you were a musician and I'm guessing from this you play the viola. How cool.
ReplyDeleteI especially like the line--"the string keeps on living. . ." What an image; like the music is alive, which it is. I have always loved music, but cannot play a note on anything (except perhaps the tambourine).
"Melodious flavor" is another line I love. Very, very image creating. Love it.
I really like this poem, I think you're a very talented writer from the few things I have gotten to hear in class. The part I found most interesting in this poem is how you made the sounds that come from the viola as a food that the audience craved. As for clarity I think you did a fine job, and as for literary devices I think it will be fine when you can add the form to your lines and have the longer pauses in there. Good job :]
ReplyDeleteVery interesting, I like how you used the words to describe the sounds and compared them hunger or words we use for food. Great lines and the poem flows as you read on from one line to the another.I really liked reading this. It was very clear and descriptive. Good job.
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